She was docked awhile in my adulation-cove,
And many a time I confessed my love,
Yet each time I spelt out my feelings, she
Said “You aren’t ripped. I’m sorry. “
For a while I wondered if it was just a joke,
Yet she did not free me of expectations’ yoke,
So one high tide I looked upon the bay,
And resolved to work out everyday.
I hit the gym with a determined swagger,
Not to leave until I was Schwarzenegger
Within a month I was fully transformed
From lanky-ass punk to six-pack bomb.
So I returned once more to that adulation cove
And saw my girl’s boat still docked ashore,
I was glad to see her after so long! Though
Her boat looked smaller than a month ago.
She floated up the dock and into my embrace
She pinched at my biceps and mooned at my face,
“I’m forever yours, my stud” she happily exclaimed,
“Stud-board is what our love-yacht shall be named!”
“Yes about that, sweetheart,” I said, concerned,
“While I was at the gymnasium I happened to learn
That there’s many a bigger ship in the open seas!
So unless you to pay me appropriate fees,
I’ll have to dump you, my eternal sunshine,
For many a hotter woman can now be mine.”
She ran off in tears, heartbroken, one fears,
As for me, I moved on to better-shaped rears!