I had to write to you! Mostly because it is so amazing that I finish college at the same time as you start – imagine if I was in DU the course would’ve been 3 years and this wouldn’t have been the case. It’s very good because it makes me think back to the time in college I’ve had, and I can think out loud to you so you can, as a fresh starter, help me analyze what I did right and wrong…
I think firstly, it is quite amazing that both of us have made very off beat and therefore difficult choices at the same time in our lives. We’re sticking to our guns and doing something unusual. I think it is going to be very exciting, but also very taxing so we must be there for each other. I’m definitely very stressed out already because unusual choices mean more steps and more thinking every step of the way. So there is no already clear path for me and it is pretty damn daunting. But I think any other way would have been less awesome. No?
About college, let me start with regrets – I am 4 days away from my final result and I still don’t know my degree classification… And I think I let myself down in this respect. I have always been very good at studying and acing exams, but I just didn’t have the mental discipline at times to sit down and study. I was of course always ready with justifications and explanations for why I did badly. I did badly this semester, but I wrote a play. I did badly in that module because I was just not interested in it. But you know, truth is, I could have just sat down and studied, and I could have done well. I studied so little that it still surprises me that even passed sometimes. And I know I would definitely have learnt something even though the professor sucked or the group mates were idiots and the lectures had nothing to do with the exams or any of my other lame excuses. I just chose to find faults with the system and never tried to ace it. I think I got a lot of things right, but this I definitely got wrong. It is very important to do your basics well. It gives you a lot of freedom and peace of mind to pursue everything else as well. And best of all, it doesn’t take much to do well either!
Apart from that though, I did pretty damn well. Theatre, music, film, so many great experiences, exchange, friendship, love – I think I made a lot of very good choices. Best of all, I made sure I did those other things with SO MUCH passion that till date I hear stories of people being afraid of taking up what I have left at NUS Stage because it is just way too high a standard I’ve set. And that makes me very happy. Because, most of all, I have had the most in-depth education in the other-than-academic I could’ve hoped for. It’s been so fantastic, my god. I can’t believe it.
One of the biggest lies you will hear about college though – it is that college is the last time someone will tell you what to do and you have to do it; the last time you have to get up at the right time to get to class… It is the last time someone else is responsible for you. These are all lies. Completely untrue. In fact, the last time that was the case is already over. No one gives a SHIT anymore Rags – college is about you teaching yourself. Everything you gain in college will be because you pursued it with everything you’ve got. No one is going to care at all. I think I only realized this a little late – and it is something close to the earlier thing I said about hating the system. The system really has nothing to do with anything. It’s just going to be you.
One thing – make sure you make the library a place you like to go to. Just sit there and read once a month or so. Because no one else will, and it will make you really cool. Because everything else you already do – just add the library visits to your personality, you’ll rock the world. 🙂
Also, the faster you master technology, the better off you’ll be. It took me 2 semesters of wasting time on facebook-counterstrike-gmail-espncricinfo-etc to realize what I was doing. Thank god for good articles online that I kept reading! These things are going to attack your attention like never before, so better be prepared for it. Mom will also become one of the distractions now – she’s going to be just one of the million people calling/msging/facebooking you. So be on your guard… Make sure you prioritize and give important things enough time.
Man. I think the one thing I really wish is – I wish I had slowed down a little. I really have no idea what I’ve been up to these 4 years you know? It’s all a big blur. I remember Amsterdam so clearly, but FUCK it was a year and half ago! You know why I remember it? Because I had a lot of time to just stand around. Really. I would even sometimes refuse to go out and just sit in my room and do nothing for extended periods of time. Lie in bed. Close the windows, let it get warm. Open the window to let the icy wind come in. Then repeat. When my friend came to visit me from Paris, I remember, and all my friends were going to smoke up and go watch Avengers. I was like – no thanks. This guy went with MY friends and had awesome fun; I just lay in bed. I should’ve said no a lot more in Singapore also. I just wanted to do everything, and I didn’t have time to regroup and reflect. If there is one thing you must do – is give yourself sometime every day to just sit and reflect. Because the planning and the execution and the envisioning of college life is all ok, but unless you have some time to just (literally) sit calmly and think about it, it’s not going to last. You won’t remember anything but the headlines. Like me. 0.o
Ok. I think that’s all.
Have a fucking blast.
Say fuck a lot. 😉 Koi ni rokega.
I love you, and trust you and I’m sure you will rock the place out.